Super Stories from the World of Hodgkins
Hello, reader!! I hope that you will find this blog informative, hilarious, offensive, heart-wrenching...well, this is my life captured on the Interwebz. I began this blog when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma in December 2008, and it has now morphed into something else that I can't quite name yet. Enjoy! Or don't! It's up to you!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
must...bitch...or...head...will...combust...
So, today I trekked down to Nerstrand Big Woods State Park in Northfield. I'm a volunteer field assistant for a field biology course at the junior college I attended before transferring to the U of M. It's exactly what it sounds like--checking out all the cool stuff Minnesota's natural landscape has to offer. I always, ALWAYS have fun helping out with these trips--this one in particular. I never thought that I would get a kick out of teaching, but I guess I have to do something with all this useless knowledge or my head is going to explode. My desire to help other students has its limits, though. I bet those of you who know me fairly well can see where this might be going.
Here is how this works:
The students prepare for the trip by researching a group of species in a list assigned to them by the course instructor. They are then supposed to create note cards for the species they are assigned; they should detail everything necessary to help them identify the species. It is strongly suggested that they draw themselves a picture. Yes, inevitably, one or two or seven students "forget" to complete their note cards and therefore know absolutely zip about what they are supposed to be identifying. No prob; shit happens, we get that, which is why we spend two or three hours doing the equivalent of a nature walk. I will point out the plant species they should know and ask them to identify it and explain the properties of the plant that helped them come to that conclusion. After that, the groups are mixed up so that there is at least one member representing each species set. They are then supposed to teach each other. This works best if every student is adequately prepared--meaning, done the proper research and created decent note cards. The little part of me that hasn't given up on humanity entirely and isn't permanently cynical also works best if everyone is adequately prepared. That part stops functioning when someone gets snotty about it. Oh, you're not prepared? You couldn't spare one whole hour out of your busy week? And then, OH, you're going to get testy with me and toss a smartass comment when I ask you a question! How delightful! You're on your own, buddy. This isn't public school--YOU (or your parents) are PAYING to be here! If you don't want to be here, we won't hold your hand and guide you back to reality; we are not going to sit and have a heart-to-heart complete with a demolished box of chocolates and six boxes of wet tissues. If you wish to separate from the group that actually wants to hear what I have to say, no problem. I won't chase you down. You don't care? Okay, then...NEXT!
I took little Sae Dee with me today. I was excited to see how she was going to do at the state park--LOTS of people, kids running around screaming, tons of other dogs, and stimuli everywhere. I found a little red bandana and used BRIGHT yellow puffy paint to stencil on the following sentence: Therapy Dog Evaluation In Progress -- Please Ask To Interact. I am looking for a very specific set of behaviors under a very specific set of circumstances. Part of my evaluation does include observing her reactions to other people, other dogs, and other unpredictable things that may be encountered. Several times, I would step aside into a clearing (off the trail) to observe her reaction to passers-by or to see if I could convince her to only focus on me. The back side of that bright red bandana with fluorescent writing was plainly visible. Most people were fairly good at asking if they could pet her; however, there were more of the type that would see what we were doing and holler out "awww, good girl! Good dog!" or talk in baby talk to her. AND...the one child that ran...yes, RAN...straight up to her and had the idea that giving her a pat meant smacking her right between her eyes. It wasn't hard, but ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH FOR F**K'S SAKE!! The parents did nothing and when I confronted them and advised that for safety's sake their children should always ask permission before petting someone else's dog, they acted like I had just asked them to light the kid on fire and make me some s'mores. I bit my tongue (yeah, amazing, I know) and just walked away. Hey, winner--if your kid had scared her enough to make her snap or bite, it would be all my fault, I'm sure. I don't mind the interaction; in fact, I WANT it, but because this was her very first evaluation I wanted those interactions to be as controlled as possible. I know, it's a stretch, and I did expect that kind of stuff, but that doesn't stop me from being annoyed. Then there was the jackass that brought his dog hiking with no leash. His very energetic, young dog that could not do a recall if his life depended on it. Sae Dee is a bit on the possessive side (something we need to work on), so the closer the dog came to us the more defensive she became. Not only is there a leash law in the state of MN--especially in state parks--but it's just good etiquette to leash your dog for everyone's safety, including his. I was sort of testy when I told him that his dog needed to be on a leash, and all he said was "oh, I'm sorry!" Took him and his girlfriend ~20 minutes to catch him and leash him. Part of the trail network cuts through an ecologically sensitive area that is the only home--anywhere--for an endangered species of lily. Guaranteed that his dog pissed all over the place, even though I didn't see it. Jackass.
Speaking of miss Sae Dee, she is doing VERY well. She is settled in and has definitely asserted herself as the boss of the 4-leggeds. Since she has now been well cared for and received adequate nutrition for almost five months, she is finally blowing her coat. Damn those double layered coats! I have her a very thorough brushing and imagine my surprise when the tiny bit of light brown-looking fur morphed into what might be tan (or even reddish) on all four legs, a bit of hue on her face, and a little on her belly. She is so fricken' cute!
Well, I am exhausted so I think I will leave this here for now. Hope you all are still reading!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I'm meeeeelllllltttttiiiiinnnnggggg...
Monday, August 29, 2011
The End is the Beginning is the End
So...it has been a while. Again. There is a purpose to my absence, however. Some things have happened that took me a little bit to wrap my head around.
The position that I interviewed for was a position as a riding instructor and caretaker for a riding program in Wisconsin, at a girls' summer camp in Minocqua. A few days later I was offered the position! I accepted on the condition that I bring Harley and Cody with me, and they were just fine with that. A few days before we were to leave, I brought them to our new vet to have Cody's vaccinations brought current and to evaluate Harley's soundness to make the trip. Dr. Mead and I both agreed that she would be okay, and we decided on a medication protocol for her. Tramadol 3x day to control her pain without making her too drowsy, Pepcid AC for her reflux, and mirtazapine as an appetite stimulant. She made HUGE strides in the following 24 hours; enough that I was confident that she would be okay. I sure was looking forward to sharing this wonderful opportunity with my pups! We left on the afternoon of the 21st.
The trip itself took a little while because I made frequent stops to check the pups and give Harley her meds. It was really hot that day. They were making the trip pretty well until we were almost there. Harley began to pant and look uncomfortable, so when I arrived I had my new roomies help me give her some fluids. With that, meds on board, and a little bit of food in her, she seemed to come around. She curled up in bed with me that night and she seemed SO relaxed and content--more so than she had been in a long time! I was awoken the next morning by a loud thud. When I sat up, I saw that Harley had collapsed on the floor, gasping for air, with gums and tongue so pale they were white. She used what little strength she had to walk outside, and collapsed again. She never got up again--she passed away right there. I actually panicked; I hadn't expected that and I tried to look up veterinary clinics on my Android while keeping an eye on her. There was a part of my brain that took over and forced me to realize that I would never be able to get someone there fast enough; I wouldn't have even had time to place a catheter myself. The whole ordeal was over in less than 20 minutes. She passed at 6:33 a.m. on the 22nd of July. The details of those 20 minutes are only for me to know.
Needless to say, I was completely heartbroken. My new roomies helped me get Harley into my car, and I drove to a local clinic--Northwoods Animal Hospital--to have her cremated. They were GREAT and even though I wasn't a client, they treated me with as much respect and sympathy as if I were. They were also very respectful of Harley. When I returned to pick up her ashes, there was an employee standing by the entrance with a beautiful Border Collie on a leash. As I walked past them with the tears streaming all across my face, the BC looked at me and wagged her tail in such a manner that I couldn't help but smile through my tears. The woman then asked me if I wanted to adopt her. I looked at her, and she was serious. I couldn't help but think that this situation was more than coincidence--I was originally supposed to pick up Harley's ashes the previous day but I was held up at the barn. The fact that we were all at the same place and at the same time was uncanny. Long story short, I asked to take her back to camp with me for a few days to see how she fit with me and with Cody. Everything went VERY well, and I was all set to take her in...but her owners changed their minds. Sigh...so back she went.
My time at Clearwater Camp for Girls was amazing!! I shared a cabin with two other women, one of whom was the Head of Riding, and the other an instructor and caretaker as well. They were SO awesome--they had barely even met me when Harley passed away but were very sympathetic and helpful. They urged me to take the day off, and later that afternoon they brought me a sympathy card and some flowers. I was completely floored. I feel like the three of us got along pretty well and made a great team. I mostly tried to observe how things were run and stepped up to help teach during our lessons as well as participating in the care and cleaning. The riding program consisted of 14 horses, 3 instructors, and a decent but small arena. We taught English riding skills to girls between the ages of 8 and 16 and would go on the occasional trail ride. The girls are scheduled for at least one lesson a week; some girls want to take on more so they sign up to be an "extended" rider, which means they ride 3 days a week. Those girls had the opportunity to participate in a Gymkhana event, which was a LOT of fun and something they were pretty proud of! The entire camp consists of two sessions running from the end of June until mid-July for the first session, and mid-July until mid-August for the second. Many girls stay for the full 7 weeks. I happened to come at the start of the second session, and returned on the 18th.
Everyone I met there was completely amazing. They all feel very strongly about the camp and its intended purpose to provide the girls with great experiences. No one there was harsh or judgmental, and embraced the myriad of things that make us all unique. Ideas and thoughts about the camp, the girls, the program, the staff, each other...all were warmly welcomed. I received a LOT of sympathy from everyone about Harley, and everyone seemed to LOVE Cody. He kind of has that effect on people! I do hope that I am afforded the opportunity to return next summer--this was the first job I have had in a LONG time that didn't feel at all like a job. I felt like I belonged there. I had a TON of fun as well! Well, with the exception of the first day, and the last. I picked up some kind of nasty bug somewhere; the first day I was nauseated and vomiting; the second I was coughing and running a fever; by the time the morning of the 18th rolled around, I was heavily congested, feverish, and coughing so hard that I was gagging and vomiting and even made myself pass out a few times. I stayed in bed the entire day, and finally was able to leave late in the afternoon on the 19th. I have been laid up for the last eight days--went to urgent care and had a chest rad to rule out a fungal infection, and a culture for whooping cough. I haven't received the culture results yet. I'm feeling a lot better, but if I over-do things and try to do too much, I pay for it. Slowly but surely, I am recovering!
So...two new bits of news that are exciting for Ted and I. Ted took an active duty position with the Guard again. He is working in Range Control, which means he will be working to manage the safety and organization of training and live fire operations at Camp Ripley. Unfortunately, this means that he will be staying up there for the next year...again. The bonus: active duty benefits and pay. That includes 30 days of paid leave, so we will be able to see each other more than just on the weekends. Need I say more?
The second little bit of news: we have welcomed a new member into our little family. Her name is Sae Dee, and she is a six-year-old blue merle Australian Shepherd. I had been perusing through the herding dogs (like Border Collies, Collies, Shelties, Aussies, and others) posted on Petfinder for a couple of weeks, and I saw her photo and thought she was just stunning. I have always loved the blue merle variation in the herding dogs. When I had the little Border Collie girl staying with me at camp, it kind of showed me that while I am still grieving for Harley, there is enough love in my heart to give another buddy a chance. So...I e-mailed the rescue group that was caring for her and set up a "meet and greet" for Sunday (yesterday). Ted and I both fell for her, and she came home with us that day and she is now officially part of our crazy household! She and Cody are getting along; I am not sure that he is going to bond with her as he did with Harley but at least he is now beginning to come out of his depression a bit. He has seemed so lost without Harley. Sae Dee and Scooter are for the most part aloof from each other; she doesn't like Mickey so much but tolerates him as long as he keeps his distance.
For those of you who might criticize me for adopting a dog so soon after Harley's passing, don't. I am in NO way trying to "replace" Harley; that is impossible. I am still grieving for her, but I feel very strongly that wherever she may now be, she has been facilitating these "chance" encounters. The universe has aligned in such a way as to show me that in helping another pup have a chance at a happy life, I will be helping myself through the grief and sense of loss I am feeling.
I think this is where I will stop for now. I'm looking at this post and thinking, "Holy shit, no one is going to want to read all of this!!" If you do, you do...if you don't, you don't. I won't be offended either way, but I do hope that you will share my life with me through this blog. I am still considering changing the name, but I have yet to figure out an appropriate one. I will try a LOT harder to update more often so that I don't post these fricken novels all the time.
I hope everyone is having a great summer!! Seems like it is over way too quickly...I am dreading winter as I always do. Keep in touch, y'all!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Strings of FAB-U-LOUS!!
Quick update on Harley-boo:
She has been steadily but slowly improving this week. I think we have reached an impasse at this point. While she is pretty short on energy (and I'm working on that part), she doesn't appear to be in any distress and she is still interested in stuff, even though she doesn't really hop up and go bounding around like she used to. Except when we go outside. She loves being outside as much a possible, so we take a lot of short walks together while she carries her new tennis ball in her mouth. Her breathing is often quite short and shallow, and she seems to be expending increased effort on exhalation. I am equating that to my assumption that there are mets to the lungs, and there may just be a slight obstruction somewhere along the lines. She doesn't seem at all distressed, and since I am taking my cues from her, we just take things easy. She is still coughing, but there has been no change in the frequency. She eats kind of sporadically, so I am looking to supplement her with a multivitamin and extra calories.
Little piece of Nicole news: I interviewed yesterday for a position that I feel will be a good fit for me. I sensed some pretty good vibes from the interview, so hopefully I will be receiving an offer in the next few days! I'll keep you all posted!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Good News is Relative


Harley seems to be doing MUCH better. She is still pretty lethargic and I do have her on a relatively high dose of tramadol. Today was the best out of the last week--we went for a walk and played ball!! She was just trotting all over the street with her ball in her mouth like she had already forgotten how sick she is! She's eating, not drinking nearly as much water, playing a bit, and the swelling is almost gone from her abdomen. She still coughs, but it's not as frequently and I have seen no blood. Her breathing is fast and shallow though, and she is exerting some effort on exhale. She still tires quickly--but she has been able to go longer periods of time being active. Her mucous membranes have a bit more color in them, too. Her bloods weren't nearly as bad as I was expecting. I know that this is probably just temporary, but a part of me hopes that this means she will be comfortable and with me for a little bit longer.
Okay, apparently I am too tired to remember how to load a Word or PDF into my blog. I wanted to post Harley's blood results; I'm going to have to go REALLY ghetto and just copy & paste. Sorry if it looks completely terrible.
Accession No. Doctor Owner Pet Name Received
CHBC53689039 AM NIZZI HARLEY 07/09/2011
Species Breed Sex Pet Age Reported
Canine Labrador Retriever SF 8Y 07/09/2011 05:28 AM
Test Requested Results Reference Range Units
Vet Screen
Total Protein 5.0 5.0-7.4 g/dL
Albumin 2.9 2.7-4.4 g/dL
Globulin 2.1 1.6-3.6 g/dL
A/G Ratio 1.4 0.8-2.0
AST (SGOT) 32 15-66 IU/L
ALT (SGPT) 20 12-118 IU/L
Alk Phosphatase 51 5-131 IU/L
Total Bilirubin 0.4 (HIGH) 0.1-0.3 mg/dL
BUN 20 6-31 mg/dL
Creatinine 0.9 0.5-1.6 mg/dL
BUN/Creatinine Ratio 22 4-27
Phosphorus 4.4 2.5-6.0 mg/dL
Glucose 117 70-138 mg/dL
Calcium 8.8 (LOW) 8.9-11.4 mg/dL
Corrected Calcium 9.4
Sodium 146 139-154 mEq/L
Potassium 3.4 (LOW) 3.6-5.5 mEq/L
Na/K Ratio 43 (HIGH) 27-38
Chloride 114 102-120 mEq/L
Cholesterol 141 92-324 mg/dL
CPK 161 59-895 IU/L
CBC
WBC 17.2 (HIGH) 4.0-15.5 103/µL
Corrected for NRBCs
RBC 2.7 (LOW) 4.8-9.3 106/µL
HGB 6.8 (LOW) 12.1-20.3 g/dL
HCT 21 (LOW) 36-60 %
MCV 77 58-79 fL
MCH 25.5 19-28 pg
MCHC 33 30-38 g/dL
Anisocytosis Moderate
Polychromasia Slight
NRBC 10 (HIGH) 0-1 /100 WBC
Blood Parasites None Seen
Platelet Count 101 (LOW) 170-400 103/µL
Fibrin clumps present; micro-clotting in the sample may spuriously lower the platelet count and estimate.
Platelet count reflects the minimum number due to platelet clumping.
Platelet Est Adequate
Differential Absolute %
Neutrophils 15136 (HIGH) 88 2060-10600 /µL
Toxic Changes Slight
Bands 344 (HIGH) 2 0-300 /µL
Lymphocytes 688 (LOW) 4 690-4500 /µL
Monocytes 344 2 0-840 /µL
Eosinophils 688 4 0-1200 /µL
Basophils 0 0 0-150 /µL
Comment
Blood smear reviewed by technologist.
In other news, if you are reading this and I have pictures for you, rest assured that I am working on them. I think I took on WAY too many projects. It seems like the folders full of raw image files never get any smaller.
I am thinking of changing the name of my blog to reflect the fact that I told cancer to go to hell. My friend Sara Williams (her wonderful blog can be found here) sort of inspired me to want to do that as she had changed her blog name to reflect her remission from breast cancer. What do you guys think? Any ideas?
Yep, I'm going to bed. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........................
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Hey, all--
Harley has continued to deteriorate. She did not eat her breakfast this morning, even though I opened up a can of really smelly tuna and mixed it in with her kibble. So, I have given her the max dose of pain meds that I am comfortable giving her...we'll see what happens.
**update** Haha, I didn't post this right away! Good thing, though...so, Justin stopped by to see Harley this morning and pose for a few portrait shots. She seemed to come around and was definitely more animated! When we came back inside, I set her food bowl down and she ate a little bit!! She is still very lethargic and sedentary, but is awake and interactive, even rolling over for tummy rubs. Her abdomen feels a bit distended to me...I'm concerned about her liver a bit.
Our vet visit last night to the "new" clinic went...okay. They pulled blood and were running a CBC and Vetscreen. The doc said she would call in the morning with the results, but by 10 a.m. I hadn't heard from her. There was a missed call on my cell from a number I didn't recognize, so I called the clinic to see about the results. If she called this morning but didn't leave a message, then the results probably aren't good but I wasn't expecting them to be.
Bobbi is here with me, helping me clean the house and keeping me company. I am so grateful she's here. I don't know if I would be holding together as well if she weren't.
Okay, I need to get to cleaning and take a shower. My friend Linda is coming over to take some portraits for me, and I haven't showered in a few days...nasty. I will keep you all posted. Thanks for your support--let me know if you're reading!
♥♥♥
Friday, July 8, 2011
And the circle of life continues...
I have a large list of people whom I am very grateful for. They have really pulled together to help me over the last few months, and especially today. I don't have the time to list them all now, but they know who they are. Thank you.
I will try to update as much as possible via this blog. Stay tuned.






