Friday, November 20, 2009

Reflections year ago today, I was sitting in the emergency room at the University hospital thinking I was having a heart attack. Ted was mad at me and we got into an argument...I think he was upset about how many times he had been to the hospital with me that year. I didn't yet know, but my life was about change drastically...I feel I have come a long way in the last year, though I know I still now have a long way to go. I have ended my cancer journey (for good, I hope) and am about to embark on yet another journey. I don't think this is what is meant by "coming full circle," but I feel like things have done a 360 from where they were. The last few years have been quite the rollercoaster.

The next week is going to be a lot of remembering how far I have come. I tend to be dismissive of what I've gone through, like it's not really that big of a deal and it wasn't that bad. It was a big deal, and it was that bad. Yes, it definitely could have been worse, but it was pretty difficult. And here I am.

As I push forward through this new journey, I need to remember the strength that is within me. I know I can make it through tough times--I have to make sure to remind myself of that.


  1. Awww wow, what a difference a year makes, eh? I got your comment on my blog and I laughed. You'll be an inspiration to many hodge fighters soon enough. Thanks for always being fabulous! XO

  2. Nicole, you are an amazing girl! Who knows where your journey will bring you, the road may twist and bend but you can do it, the power is in you and you know it.

  3. "It was a big deal, and it was that bad."

    Well put. Not easy being neck deep in chemo, staring down another 3 months and summoning up the will to keep going.

  4. Nicole,
    You have so much life to live ahead! I know I'm a 19 Year survivor of Hodgkins. I was 35 years old when I was diagnosed, with two small children. I was able to raise them to adulthood. I have very similar problems regarding neuropathy and carpel tunnel. Hang in there girl. I understand where you have been, God Bless You


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