Sunday, November 15, 2009

New Pic, and some things to be thankful for...

I am taking a break from studying and thought I would snap a pic real quick so everyone can see my hair and thinner face! I am freshly showered and completely exhausted, and I think the picture shows that.

I'm very tired today, and not feeling like someone who has kicked cancer's ass. I feel like it's kicked ME, hard. I lost ten pounds in October--while I'm thrilled because I'm working as hard as I can to lose the evil nasty cancer pounds, it does worry me a little because that is about 2.5 pounds a week which is a bit drastic. But, I am eating healthy stuff (putting that expensive education to some sort of practical use!) and walking as much as possible (seeming as to how I can't run or lift weights these days), so I'm not too worried that I'm missing out on nutrition. The thing that bothers me the most is the ridiculous swelling in my legs, the pain in my joints, the FATIUGE, and my hands. While the pain meds are working, this neuropathy thing seems to be accelerating. It's been chilly lately (haha, but warm for MN!) and it seems like when the temp is below 60, my hands get cold fast. Like within minutes. Now what is occurring is when it's chilly (and I'm not talking freezing, just even on a day like today where the temp is in the 50s) my fingers will go numb and so will part of my left foot. Even in gloves and warm socks. This happened several times at work today. When I came home, before hopping in the shower, I ate a few cucumber slices from the fridge with some ranch dressing. My hands were warm when I started. Handling the cucumber slices made my fingers go numb, and turn blue. WTH?????? I hopped in the shower right away and rubbed my hands under the water but it didn't start to subside for about five or six minutes. Blue?? REALLY?!?! My nerves really must be wack!

This is really sit here and not know if I'm going to be able to function in six months. To worry that I am going to be told to wait again. To be frustrated yet again if I am told that yet another doctor, or team of doctors, has no idea what is wrong or how to fix it. Wednesday, I hope to see a medical professional who will listen and help me find some answers.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well this holiday season. I know that the holidays can be difficult for some who have endured financial hardship over the last few years. This economy has not been forgiving to those who were living paycheck-to-paycheck in the first place.

I would just like to take the time to remind everyone that many things of value have nothing to do with money. Next week, during Thanksgiving, take just a moment to think of those things. Sure, having stuff is nice. I can be as materialistic as the next person. How about having an education? Nobody can own your knowledge. How about the relationships of family? Kids look up to us, parents want better for us, siblings/aunts/uncles/cousins enjoy our company (even if they say they don't! lol). Some families have to do without their loved one. Do you love your pets, maybe? That unconditional love they give us--they don't care that we are young/old/fat/skinny/bald/hairy/uncool/popular/rich/poor. The sun rises and sets every day--that's a good thing. What about the beauty in nature? It's everywhere! And let's not forget about your health. I can attest to the fact that without your health, life can get very difficult. For those of you in good health--pay attention to it! Take care of it! Revel in it! Take advantage of it! It's a gift! Don't take your good health for granted, because when it's gone, you WILL miss it.

Sooooo...lovely rant that was. I am coming up on the one year anniversary of the day my life was changed forever. On the 2oth of November, I was clued in that something was wrong. On the 26th, my life, my perspective, my body, my world--all were altered for good.

If your life is good, and you love it, cherish that. If your life is not where you want it to be--CHANGE IT. Only you have the power to do that.

1 comment:

  1. Nicole, you speak the words of a girl with a changed life. I can understand as I see my sister do the same and say the same words as you do. You WILL get through this! I will be thinking of you.


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