If You're Reading This, That Means You're Not Shopping And I Will Still Respect You In The Morning

Ah, the holiday season...that magical time of year filled with the wonder of why we over-consume and under-appreciate. What is it about spending the money we claim we don't have enough of that drives us to do abnormal things like wait in line to spend the money we claim we don't have enough of? The first--and last--time I made an attempt at shopping on "Black Friday" was 1998. I went to Toys R Us in Tacoma to purchase a Furby for a friend's daughter. There were two left on the shelf. They were frustratingly talking to each other. I went to grab one and suddenly felt the pain of a thousand donkey kicks on the left side of my face. This woman totally sucker punched me to grab the last two and ran off before security could get there. I didn't even realize what had happened until the security guy (who was incredibly hot, by the way...wonder if he's still single...) picked me up off the floor. Yep...totally not worth it!! Besides...I have too much junk laying around as it is. But, in case you're feeling generous, I could use another Targus Laptop Chill Mat. That would be one of these:

Just sayin'.

This time of year always motivates me to remember the things that I am truly thankful for, this year especially. I have to admit that some days, it's difficult to find reasons to be thankful. I know those days are just a part of getting through all of this so I rarely despair...I simply wait it out until I remember that there are still good things in my life. I know that it can't rain all the time. I'm thankful that I'm still even around to be thankful in the first place. It's been almost four years since my rebellious body tried to shuffle off this mortal coil and take me with it. I'm thankful that I laid the beatdown on the Hodge. I'm thankful that my recent health setbacks seem to have been temporary and not too serious. I'm thankful for the people in my life who love, support, and stand behind me regardless of the unfortunate set of circumstances I have found myself in. I have been pleasantly surprised at the people who have not only stuck by me but have also provided support and assistance where they can. I've also been pleasantly surprised at the new people that have found their way into my life that accept me knowing that this is just a slight delay in my journey and have been able to see ME through all the layers of unfortunate situations--the ME I truly am. It all humbles me almost to tears. Yeah, yeah, I said TEARS. If you tell anyone, I will punch you. I have lost nearly everything--marriage, health, job, ability to support myself, my home, my car, financial stability and what I thought was a solid and promising future--yet the people who surround me with their friendship and support are doing so in a big way. I am starting completely over again and without these people, it would be a LOT more difficult than it already is. I couldn't ask for a better support system. Truly. You know who you are--thank you. Even if you think that you aren't doing much, I will tell you that simply being my friend and offering an ear to listen or just continuing to say "I've got your back" after all the bullshit I've been going through is a huge blessing to me.

Thank You.

So...I finally have a confession to make. I know there are those of you who are probably going to be a little irritated with me that I didn't tell you this personally but I hope that you will understand that I am simply doing what I need to do and if I failed to tell you, it wasn't because I was purposely trying to be rude or scandalous or something equally jerk-ish. Things happened fairly quickly and, well, it is what it is. Many of you know that my health has not been that great for the last few months. I was in & out of the hospital during November for various reasons--bacterial and viral infections for the most part but between those and the stress of being unemployed/financially unstable and the whole divorce mess, I was losing the battle for my health in a pretty big way. My landlords--who have also been amazing people and far more generous than they have a right to be--were finally like "okay...it's probably time we found a PAYING renter." Years from now, I will probably feel as terrible as I do at this moment about dragging them into this disgusting situation and while I know that it's not entirely my fault, I am taking responsibility for it because it's the right thing to do.  I should have recognized early on that the other responsible party was going to do everything possible to shirk that responsibility, that justice was not to come at that time, and taken steps accordingly. I failed to do that and that's my mistake--I own that shit. Period. I hope my landlords understand the depth of my appreciation. I know they're not a charitable organization--they have a business to run and their own bills to pay, which is why they are high on the list of people that I am thankful for. I hope they know that. But I digress...

Long story short, I have moved to WI to stay with my family through the winter. I really was having a difficult time health-wise, which was making it difficult to secure employment, and was facing homelessness along with the financial ruin I seem to be wallowing in. My mom finally made me understand that I really CAN'T do this on my own no matter how motivated I am to do so. So...my mom and my grandfather (my dad's dad) came out on the 6th to help pack & move. Took us five whole days to sort through it all, pack it properly, and clean up the house as best we could. My mom rented a U-haul truck and trailer (because I underestimated the amount of stuff that was still left, haha) and my dad found a storage unit here in WI for my stuff. We left the morning of the 12th, unloaded the truck and trailer on the 13th, and here I am now. Everything I own is either in the basement here at my folks' place or in storage here. And in case anyone was wondering, if I had to move it, it became mine. Period. I had a difficult enough time getting him out to unlock the garage and he never offered to help, not even when I asked him to take care of the disaster he left in the garage. He left the mess for me--including all the cleaning and repairs--so the way I see it, he has no more claim to anything that was left. 

So...my plan is to get a job (obviously), save a little scratch, and be back in the cities by spring. I love my family dearly but as I'm sure they are aware, there are multiple reasons why I wish to keep my stay here as brief as possible. If I can't be in Seattle, it seems that Minneapolis is the place for me...so one or the other is going to happen!! FYI, friends--I will be in town next week. Let me know if you would like to get together. I have a bunch of boring/tedious stuff to do and loose ends to tie up but might have some time for a little fun, so let me know!

I think I'm going to get back to my job hunt. Little to be had out here...and what there is doesn't pay well. Wish me luck!!